5 & 6 weeks......

Sorry I haven't posted in 2 weeks... I have been very busy and just haven't got around to it. Things are going well. I applied for the guest relations position at my current work... the position consists of half marketing and half business work. I have been filling in for the last week and really enjoyed it so I applied and found out today I got the job.. YAY! Also the good part about it is that I can do it currently with my hip. Its alot of sitting and the part that isn't, well its not that big of a deal. I'm really excited and grateful because its 40 hours a week and I will be making good money. The best part is that they are flexible with letting my hip heal and it will be able to because its a mostly sitting job..

Well more to my hip:

Week 5: During this week I made a pretty big improvement. I was able to take a shower standing all most the entire time. I also am getting faster with my walker! Im so thankful that I don't have to give myself any more shots, that's a big deal..haha.... Things are slowly improving now... I can pretty much get myself into the car alone but sometimes need some help... I have been sleeping a little better... But not much.... schools still the same...boring and long :( One thing that is starting to effect me alot is the fact that it seems like not alot of people understand.. or seem to be my friend any more... not sure really why but I am assuming its because "its not convenient for them" idk. Well I stayed almost the entire week at Kiel's house because he was taking me to work and class... his house is only about 10 min. away from my work so that's good...I also was able to get myself into bed alone :)

Week 6: I officially stood in the shower the entire time without sitting.... I also was able to sit Indian style and cross my legs.... I'm not really sure if I am supposed to but I did and that's a big deal for me because I always cross my legs haha....idk! I am a little ticked that I am going to be behind because my doctor isn't in the office this week for me to get evaluated... My doctors office here said they sent out my X-rays last Tuesday but no answer yet!! I just am upset I guess because I cant put weight on my leg or drive until I see him on feb. 4th that's my 7wks. 2 days.... I just wish he would be in the office and available when he is in need.... it really frustrates me... Also he frustrates me with what he does to my friends.. but that's a different story. O well! I have been having some problems sleeping again... also I have became very sad and mad alot... Its kind of extreme at times... idk I guess its stress of everything, not sure.... I hope things start to head up for me really soon! I ask that you all can pray for my family and some relief with our problems.... Thanks!

I am excited to start therapy this week though. I am ready to regain full use of my leg again and to be able to actually walk again. I have my first evaluation today! Which is 01-26-10!

Bad news is my parents are paying Cobra through this whole process and it is starting to become very expensive.... :( and we don't know how much longer we will be able to keep it...

Good news is that with this new job I can get my own insurance but it wont take effect on May 1st! Also I am soooo excited to get to see all of my wonderful hip friends....:) I am actually staying with one of them the night before my apt....so we all will be able to visit :)

I just wanna say a little prayer for all of my other hip friends.... it seems that alot of them are experiencing bad and hard times in there lives right now so I just wanna pray that they will get some relief soon!

I will update pictures very soon.... I have alot up already on my face-book and will put them up on here asap....

I will write as soon as more happens!

4 Weeks Post Op.....

Okay well so far was good until tonight... I had night class at USI and the cheerleaders had a friends and family night to come see their routine for nationals. Well my class got done early so me and Kiel decided to go see them perform. We get over to the gym in the car and decided to use my new crutches to get in because its a short straight shot into the gym and out. Not to terribly far. Well we got in alright, with a few short stops. Then we watched their performance and got up to leave. I then talked to a few people and started to walk out. As I was walking out I told Kiel I needed to stop up here and about that time I brought my crutches in front of me and my knee gave out along with the spring on my crutch. I fell to the ground which was a concrete floor, onto my Right Knee which is my bad side and I tried to turn to prevent my hip hitting and when I did that my leg got twisted under my body. :( It hurt really bad... I was in so much pain I instantly started to cry. Kiel didn't know what to do and couldn't catch me because it happened so fast. But there was these nice people who decided to help me out as well.. Kiel ran to the car to get my wheelchair while the nice people got me on a bench. I then was wheeled to the car... It hurt soooooo.... bad! I don't really know what to do.. My mom called the phone line for the on-call doctor for scheid and left a message. Then a PA called me back who pretty much told me nothing. He was like well um,,, you could go to the ER but the doctors wouldn't know about your surgery and everything so it wouldn't be helpful. He was like call Scheid in the morning and see what they want you to do, and I advise you to continue using your crutches with minimum weight barring. I was like I want to throw them away and I'm no weight barring. He was like okay continue that and ice. I was like okay wow um didnt help much... O well guess I will call Scheid in the morning with the news and try to figure out what to do since I don't see him again until Feb 4th. 7 weeks 2 days after surgery. To get my first X-Ray which to me seems a little weird for such the long wait. O well....

Before today I have been doing extremely well. I came over to Kiel's on Sunday night. Saturday night he took me out to a local pizza place and my favorite place walmart :) I got pushed around in their huge wheelchairs!!! It was great to be back there. Haha... Besides going out I accomplished many new things this week. I was able to officially take my first shower alone. No help getting in or out. It was awesome and I sat there so long all the hot water was out. LOL. I also was able to lift my leg into bed and the huge step outside of Kiel's house without help. Even though help is nice I still try to do some for myself! I'm excited to continue to improve. One of the only things I have left that I want to do really bad is put my own shoe and sock on my right side. I cant bend that far yet. I have mastered putting all the rest of my clothes on for the most part. I also wish I could walk. I know in time.. but time seems to be crawling by.. especially after the fall tonight :(

I started classes Monday of this week as well. I decided it would be best to use the wheelchair to get around. I decided to use my crutches if I had to use the restroom but didnt need them to much. It wasn't bad getting around since I had Kiel to push me from class to class. He's such a great guy :).

Nothing much has been going on this past week. But I also want to thank Alyssa my cousin for all the help she has given me. She has been at my house when I'm there for the past 2 weeks. She has waited on my every need and I thank her for that. I also want to thank my parents for what they do. Even though times are hard try to be positive.....

I will let everyone know what happens with my fall. :(

Also I want to thank Courtney for the help and encouraging words this past week. She is going through this process with me just 4 days before me. I also want to thank my other hippies as well and wish Shelly who just got to come home a safe and full recovery. Ashley I hope all goes well with your tests, MRI, scopes all that.:( I hope you get good news.

Also I would like to have everyone wish me luck with applying to my program. I am applying Jan 20th for the Social Work program at USI. I want to eventually become a Clinical Social Worker with my Masters degree. But got to get in the BSW program first! Thanks!

Surgery day and my hospital time

Sorry i didn't write during my surgery, or until now. I did keep a record of everything that happened and took place during the day and the week of surgery and until now.

This is a list of what I brought to the hospital with me and things I forgot that would have been handy:

- walker ( You use both this and crutches in therapy before you leave)
- crutches
- grabber ( Makes it easier to reach things)
- 3 extra regular size pillows and 3 medium to small pillows
- I took my favorite blanket as well.
- 1 pair of sweatpants ( I really didn't wear them but when I came into the hospital and when I left, I was too hot and swollen for it to be comfortable.
- 3 pairs of loose sleep shorts ( I found that I started to wear these after my catheter came out and was more comfortable being covered)
- 4 loose T-shirts ( I wore the gown the first few days then I wanted my own clothes)
- 2 pairs of underwear ( you really cant wear them, I had them just in case)
- 2 sports bras ( I wore these after my IV pump was out because it felt better to me.)
- a few pairs of sock ( non slip is best )
- Hair ties, head bands, comb/pic/brush
- Dry shampoo ( personally I didn't use it because I don't have thin or fine hair but it could be handy)
- Leave in conditioner ( I used these on my dry hair because it became a little knotted from laying around)
- Lotion ( I used a lot this, I consider this a must)
- Chap-stick ( Everything is so dry, your lips will need this)
- Face lotion/ wash ( I washed my face out of a water basin and used lotion to keep me feeling refreshed and clean)
- Baby wipes ( These are nice because when you cant get a shower, you can at least wipe off with them.)
- Hand sanitizer ( Personally im a germ freak and used this alot)
- I took my favorite juice, and a few snakes.

Monday, December 14, 2009

The day before my surgery has come and im scared and excited still. It has hit me though that the things i normally do involuntary will become a chore. I really feel blessed that I have found out that I had this condition and it can even be fixed. I feel a strong sense of relief today though, since I had to take my finals early, and move out I was finally finished with all of that, but now I have to deal with this. Well my mother, father, grandma, aunt, and one of my cousins, along with my boyfriend all headed to Indy for the early morning ahead. We stayed at the hotel attached to the Methodist hospital which was pretty nice and very convenient. I didn't sleep a lick all night and just couldn't stop thinking about what i had gotten myself into. But the day was here so here I go.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009 the surgery day.

Well I had to be at registration at 9:30 to get things going. As I walked through the halls of the hospital to the registration area I begin to wonder what was really going to happen, and what it was going to be like. I was very scattered which im sure is normal, but as I patiently waited for checking which took like 30 min, Dr. Scheid's nurse Denise called me on my cell phone and wanted to know where I was, she had called the check in place and they told her they didn't know where i was. Ha, I thought that was funny because I was right there. But anyways Denise wanted to tell me the the previous surgery that Dr. Scheid had, went a lot faster than planned so they wanted to move mine up. I was feeling worried and nervous mostly because it was coming sooner ha. After I got checked in everything flew by. I was sent upstairs to surgery check in and as we arrived there, i went to the restroom and when I came out I had to leave for prep already not much time to say anything to my family.

I waked back to prep with a nurse and another lady who was having surgery. She then took me into a curtain room with a bed, vital sign equipment, and a TV. As I waited there for the nurse I was very anxious. She walked in and told me to change into the gown and take everything off and out, contacts all jewelry and everything, even sports bras. She also gave me footie's to place on my feet. After that she needed a urine test to test for pregnancy. Of course since I just went I couldn't go that much. She then took all of my vitals and height and weight. She then said she wouldn't see me again and that the doctor and anesthesiologist would come talk with me and she would send my family back to see me as well. She said she wouldn't see me again unless I was pregnant. Well after she left like 3 min later she came back in. I was like WHAT and she laughed and said no I forgot my clip board. I thought that was funny. But then my family comes back and gives me a hug and kiss and their blessings until Dr. Scheid and my anesthesiologist came in they explained the procedure again and answered last minute questions. Scheid explained where the cut would be made and where the numb spot would be afterwards. After he left he said it would be just a few minutes and they would come get me to go back. When the nurse arrived my stomach dropped and I was like ugh... ha so then my parents and Kiel kissed me and left as my dad and mom both had tears in their eyes they stayed semi strong. I didn't cry until they left and we headed back towards the door on the bed. The nurse had to stop and sign in to enter the doors of the operation areas and I remember looking up and the clock said 11:20 am . So then after I got back there I had to transfer over to the operating table which was cold and I was hot and I was still crying. I was scared and the nurse was telling me not to cry because if people are crying when they are put to sleep they are crying when they wake up as well. So I tried to stop. Not long after I was back there they started the IV and the anesthesiologist was talking with me about my job and what I was going to school for and I remember asking him to please tell me before I go to sleep. Well needless to say he didn't and I was out after that.

It was then I woke up in recovery. I don't remember much about that area. I just remember hearing people hollering my name and I was cold. I was told I was in recovery for around 2 hours after surgery and I was back up to my room around 5:30 pm. My aunt, grandma, and cousins left after that to head back home for school but Kiel, my mom , and dad stayed in Indy.

That evening/night in the hospital was one of the worst. I cant describe the pain. I didn't do anything but lay there. I had a IV, catheter, and a leg machine that squeezed my left leg over and over again to increase blood flow and prevent blood clots. I was on Norco 10mg, Vistriol, Morphine pump that can pump every 10 min by push of a button, and a vitamin, stool softener, and a Calcium supplement, and a blood thinner shot. They where all given at different times of the day and some mult times. As the night went on things seemed to be okay. I didn't have much of an appetite but i was very thirsty. I was given a breathing tool by the respiratory therapist to use to prevent problems with my lungs from laying in bed. I am ordered to use this item every hour 10 times.

It was around 9:15 when my morphine pump ran out. So I called the nurse and he came in to change it, but little did I know there would be complications and it would take nearly 45 min. without it. I began to hurt really bad and actually began to cry because it was hurting. After it started to run again i was fine and I eventually fell asleep for a few hours until the nurse came in and woke me for meds and vital signs. Kiel stayed the night that night and I know he didn't sleep well either. The pain was okay since I had all of thous meds, but it was still there. The night went by slow but it was okay, most of the nurses tried to be as quite as possible. I found that ice really helped, so i slept with it on. At 3:30 am I awoke to a leaking bag and water everywhere :( . So they had to help change things out to a clean dry bed. I also was running a fever of 102.4 for most of the night. It was a little bit of a struggle to deal with it all because I was feeling bad as well.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009 Day 1 after surgery

Today, everything started okay. I didn't really want to eat anything, because I honestly keep falling asleep at every meal. Kiel had to leave around 12 to get home to take finals the following day. So my parents where with me all day. Therapy came in today and I sat on the edge of the bed and stood up to my walker. I was in alot of pain but it wasn't unbearable. The decreases the time on my PAO pump from 10 to 15. Other than that, I laid in bed all day and slept off and on with an ice pack on my hip. I felt like I had the flu though, my body ached and I just felt bad, But Denise did come in which is Dr. Scheids nurse to check on me. All was well but was told that the following day I would be coming off of the PCA pump and that she wanted to give me back a unit of blood because i was low and hadn't felt well. When I was receiving the unit of blood which took around 2 hours, I couldn't use my PCA pump which made the pain a little hard to deal with. Ashley came to visit me as well. She also had this surgery so she understood what I was going through. I was very glad she came and we talked about everything from the surgery and how I was doing to the guys in our lives to get my mind off of things. She a great friend I have made from this. She also brought me her crutches because mine hadn't arrived before my surgery.

That night I spiked another fever of 102. The nurse reacted quickly and put ice bags under my arms and around my body to bring my temp back down. It started to drop and I felt a little better.

Thursday, December 17, 2009 Day 2

Today didn't start off so well. I felt very nauseous, which most likely came from all of the strong meds and nothing to eat. So when breakfast came I didn't really want anything, but I tried to eat a little bit. Not long afterwards I vomited it all up including all of my meds. I felt really bad all day and the nurses thought it was because I could be constipated. Gross I know. So they gave me some more medicine to help my bowels move. Today they also took out my catheter, and took me off of my PCA pump. Therapy came by and I walked to the door of my room and back which seemed like a mile. I was very happy but in pain from just doing that. Since my catheter was taken out I was able to use the toilet and the bedside toilet. I walked to the bathroom a little bit and just used the bedside during the evening and night. The pain was okay a little worse since I didn't have the pump but I was given the okay for IV injections every 2 hrs to help. The night was okay, didn't get much rest.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Today was better. I was able to eat better and not feel as bed. I felt a lot of pressure though because I wanted to go home. Therapy came by and helped me again walk and move around that evening. The pain was there more today than the previous day. I think it was because I moved around so much prior to today. I also started doing leg exercises in bed that consisted of flexing and pointing my toes, raising my calves of the ground, and last squeezing my butt. I was still getting up to use the restroom. But before therapy that day I was taken down to the ultrasound area to receive ultra sounds on my legs to check for blood clots. That seemed to take forever because the sonographer had to check every area of both legs. My mother and I also got into a argument, I know my parents are under a lot of stress. One good thing that happened was Ashley came to visit again which helped put a smile on my face. She seemed to know all of the right things to say. Another good thing happened, Kiel came back up today and got their around 3. That evening I couldn't sleep so Kiel got me into my wheelchair and we wheeled downstairs to the cafe around 11:30pm to get some cereal and snakes. Basically I needed a break from the room. Overall it was a good day.

Saturday, December 19, 2009 The final hospital day

Today was the big day. I was getting to go home. That morning I woke up and was greeted by Denise again with the news. I had to get my things together and see therapy, and get my orders ready before I could leave. So Kiel and I ate breakfast and we started to get my things together. Then I was given the last therapy session. I was taught how to climb steps with crutches and a walker. I also was given some more exercises to complete. My parents then came over and continued to help. I got dressed and washed up for the ride home. Since I had a 4 hour car ride home they decided they were going to give me a shot of morphine to get me home. It worked and I was basically knocked out the ride home. I remember everything but I wasn't understanding things right. On the way home though something came up and it wasn't the greatest experience. I had to go to the restroom. So we stopped at McDonald's and was helped out of the car, used my walker to get in and go. Believe it or not it took 1 hour to get out, go to the restroom, then get back into the car. It was hard.

We finally reached home. I was in alot of pain because I think the morphine started to wear off. When I got home my parents tried to get me comfortable on the couch, but didn't go well. I hated it. I just felt that I wasn't stable and was leaning. My family all came to see me, then my aunt who is a nurse said she would help me take a shower. I really wanted one but my mother said that Denise said i couldn't till i saw Dr. Scheid the following Tues., But the doctor that came in this morning told me that I could take one as long as I covered the incision and didn't actually wash it. So I took one, which let me tell you felt awesome. It wasn't that bad either since I had a sliding shower chair ( one that is long on one side that hangs out of the bath tub) and I just propped my leg up on the side of the tub and the shower was on its way. Afterwards I sat in my chair and got dressed and put product into my hair ( with help). Then after that I just got into bed. My little cousin Karlee stayed the night to help my mother that night if I had to get up. Kiel and my parents helped get me situated in bed with all of my pillows. My bed felt great but it was hard to get in and arranged properly. It takes awhile to get the pillows in place so I now know to allow plenty of time for that task. I had set my alarm to go off when it was time to take meds and had everything ready so it was fast while I was sleeping.

After I finally got comfortable and fell asleep I woke up around 3:30 am and had to use the restroom. I had a bedside but wasn't ready to get up and down alone yet to use it so my mother told me to call her. Karlee and her were sleeping on the couches and would get up to help me. Well I called and called no answer, I yelled, and I through things at the door. They finally heard me. I didn't know what to do. I was upset but I know my mother was just so tired she did hear me. Since that night my mother hasn't sleep sound.

Two weeks until...

Last week i had my pre-op apt. I felt really scared going in because i had to face the fact that it was near. It started out a stressful day. My mother and I stayed in Indianapolis this time instead of in brownsburg so we were heading to the office a different way. Needless to say i hate my garmin, map quest, and local brownsburg residents that don't know their way around. Ha Just kidding but i was forty five min. late to my apt. So it was stressful. After i went in Dr. Scheid and his nurse came in and we began. Dr.Scheid wanted to re-evaluate my flexibility so he was doing range of motion when my right hip started to pop extremely loud when my knee was brought outward. He did it a few times then he stopped. It was painful but to be honest I hear it every day when i am doing different activities. Dr. Scheid told me that my surgery would last approx. 3-4 hours. He said that i needed to resend my MRI reports so their radiologist could look at it to see in the inside of the joint would need to be touched. He told me that the loud popping noise was most likely my Labrum rubbing the joint. So every time it pops like that it is damaging my Labrum more and more. When Dr. Scheid was done talking to me about things it was then my turn to ask a few questions i had prepared for him.

1. What medicines am I supposed to stop taking and when exactly?

Birth Control: at least 2 weeks prior, and i cant start taking them again for at least 6 weeks prior to surgery.

Mobic ( Which is a strong Anti-Inflammatory): 5 days before surgery.

Darvocets, One a Day Vitamin, and Tylenol PM: Can continue to day before.

2. Will my parents be informed on how to help me prior to surgery?

Yes, they will learn things from the therapist when they come to work with you after your first day of surgery.

3. What is going to take place after surgery while im in the hospital?

You will be getting therapy twice a day after Tuesday ( which is my surgery day) and you will most likely go home as early as Saturday if you are eating right, getting around decently with your crutches/walker, and can go to the restroom.

4. General Anaesthesia is used for this procedure correct?

Yes.

5.How many cuts to the bones of my pelvis will be made?

four cuts

6. What medicine will i be on after surgery?

Mostly just pain meds, and Lovenox 40 mg shots daily for about 4 weeks.

7. How long till i can drive since its my right hip?

Approx 6 weeks if all goes well

8. How soon and how often do i come see you after surgery?

After two weeks you will come then, a month later, then once a month for a few months.

9. How soon after surgery can i do exercise and what kind?

As soon as three weeks you can do a little bit of swimming, and low resistance cycling. Not to much though.

10. Will i have any braces or wraps to keep my pelvis in place during the day or night?

No nothing will be used.

11. Since im not currently having to many problems with my left hip will it most likely become worse because of this surgery?

Not necessarily, sometimes it does make pain show up more but not always.

12.How soon will i be putting wait on my leg and walking without anything?

Weight as soon as 6 weeks, but bear minimum like a toe tap. Off two crutches around 10-12 weeks, then down to one till all is healed.

13. How do i sleep? Or should i sleep?

At first you will sleep how ever is comfortable really, mostly on your back or opposite side. But after a few weeks you can sleep however you like no restrictions.

14. Is there anything i can do to speed the healing up?

No not really since its bones we are dealing with it takes time.

15. How long do i wear the TED HOSE ( which are like hose but really really tight, and help prevent blood clots)?

Around 5 days to 2 weeks.

16. Will i still have the bursitis?

Yes a little but the pressure on your hip and the area around it is what is causing it so it will get better after your hip is fixed.

17. Chances of nerve damage?

Yes, around the incision you will loose feeling for awhile but almost all feeling should return within a year after.

18. What will happen to the muscle that is cut through?

Well the muscle isn't actually cut all the way through it more like its moved to the side then put back.

19. What things can i NOT do after surgery?

You really after a few weeks have not many restrictions. You will know if it hurts don't do it. Obviously you cant run and things of that nature but as far as bending and that kind of stuff you do it when it feels comfortable.

20. When will the catheter be put in and how long will it stay?

After you have been put under, and it will stay in about 3 days.

21, Will i be int-abated during surgery?

Yes, that as well will be after you are put under.

22. Is it necessary to donate two units of blood for this surgery? I have already donated one.

It isn't necessary because we can get from other places if we need to but its nice to have at least one.

23. The morning of surgery do i need to do anything special?

No just make sure your clean, with no lotion or anything on that area.

Thous were the question i had written down to ask Dr. Scheid. After the appointment was over i felt much better. I still am nervous and scared but i know everything will be okay. I talked to Courtney who is a girl that is having the same surgery done by Dr. Scheid as well but her surg is Dec. 11. She told me that she will come visit me after my surgery while shes still in the hospital. I'm lucky to have someone to go through this process and chapter of life with me. I know that i will be okay and God is watching over me and my family. I will try and write again before my surgery but if not i will write with updates when i am able to get on the computer. Have a good night!

Too soon..

Well as of now i am officially 3 weeks out... And to be honest I'm completely terrified. Its really hard for me to explain. I just am afraid for what is to come i suppose. I really just want to get it over with also so its confusing for me as well. I am going to see Dr.Schied on Wednesday, Nov. 25 at 8:45. I have a lot of questions for him and i hope i will get some relief from this visit as well... With the help of the other girls (Stephanie & Ashley) I have some insight on what is too come but my mind is still wondering. I have already gathered some items i was told i would need such as

• A walker
• Toilet extender
• a cane
• shower chair
• extra pillows
• sweat paints

I still need to get stuff as well like order my crutches and wheelchair. Besides the fact that my surgery is so soon i feel that i have a thousand and one things to do. Besides my normal school work for my 18 credit hours of classes i have to take all of my finals early and move out of my apt. as well. So life is stressful right now but i just try and keep my head up.

As far as my pain goes, i am hurting as of right now and the past few days. ( I think its the weather) But i also i am still working at my local tumbling and dance place. I am finding ways to cope and get around without putting to much pressure on it so its okay.

I will blog more about my pre-op apt and the questions i asked Schied. Have a good night!

Let the journey begin!

As of last week my surgery date has been set for Tuesday, December 15, 2009 at 11:30 am! I am honestly very very nervous and scared but ready. I feel like since i found out i had Congenital Hip Dysplasia that is all i can think about besides the fact that i have bursitis and a almost torn labrium that causes a lot of pain which seems to remind me daily. I have mixed feelings and find myself asking the same questions, "WHY ME", i mean i know that might not be the best thing to ask when i know there are a lot of people out there that are a lot worse off. I also want to know why i have had pain for about 4 years now and doctors continued to tell me the same thing " its a pulled muscle and if you stopped cheering it wouldn't hurt anymore", i was kinda mad because this condition had nothing to do with my cheering even though now i can never do it again it still made me upset that it took this long to find out what it really was. I know I'm Lucky that i don't have to go into this blind and alone. I have met two great girls that have been through this same procedure performed by the same doctor. They have been very helpful with everything and by answering all my questions. Also my family is very supportive and will be there every step of the way. I know by surgery is 62 days away which seems like awhile but to me it seems way to soon. I'm scared to face what is to come but i know i will get through it. I have pain almost everyday and i know the operation is necessary for me to not have pain or a hip replacement in years to come. I guess you could say I'm scared for the unknown. but i will blog soon when new information is given. I will post a few pictures of me cheering and my family that is behind me!